We founded our organization in March 2016 to honor the life of Sam Harel Price.

One Person’s Candle is a Light for Many 

☯When eight years old, Sam chose to dress for Halloween as the Yin-Yang symbol. An unusual choice for a child? Perhaps— but not for Sam; she always had the wisdom of an old soul. Yin and Yang represent opposing yet complimentary forces that exist dynamically together. Sam’s Yin-Yang was not just a costume, it was her essence.

☯To say Sam was gregarious is an understatement. She thrived on being with friends and bringing people together. She joined groups, created groups, and led groups— always bringing a positive, spirited energy. Judaism was extremely close to Sam’s heart. She created community by throwing Sukkot building parties, holding a Purim “Unmasquerade” Ball and in her role as the resident assistant of the Oberlin College’s Jewish living house. A Jewish studies major, she planned on continuing her Jewish leadership by studying to be a Rabbi. After coming out as a trans woman during college, Sam was especially proud to have co-founded Lilac, a club that provides a safe space for the trans and nonbinary community to gather, connect and support one another. Sam’s love of people was balanced by a deep appreciation of solitude. She could be found practicing cello for hours, riding around on her long board, taking solo hikes or holed up in her room reading Harry Potter, Jewish history or studying mysticism. When alone, she also spent considerable time quietly wrestling with deep and difficult questions.

☯Those who are marginalized in our society had a champion in Sam. A passionate social justice activist, she expressed and debated her opinions forcefully and fearlessly. Protecting the environment, prison reform and dismantling racism were of critical importance to her. She insisted that everyone be versed in the New Jim Crow laws. It was Sam’s contrasting meditative side, though, that taught her to amplify, rather than speak over, the voices of those for whom she advocated. A respectful, empathic listener, she quietly listened and learned from others, spotlighting them rather than herself. As a result, she was sought after by friends for support. The Oberlin trans community fondly referred to her as their “trans mama.”

☯Sam loved nature, feeling most at home and grounded when outdoors. She was often seen walking barefoot, even when it meant being kicked out of restaurants. Because of her deep respect for the earth and all its inhabitants, she wouldn’t consider killing a bug. Camping and backpacking trips were Sam’s playground. Anti-materialistic, she preferred thrift stores to malls, and on holidays she asked for donations to charities instead of presents. Yet Sam also adored the city and dressing up for special occasions. As much as she loved a good flannel shirt, she also loved a bright colored dress accessorized with jewelry and a cool handbag. Learning to apply make-up and exploring her feminine self, brought her great joy. On her last New Year’s Eve, Sam rocked a sequin dress and a tiara.

☯Yin and Yang energies were both reflected in Sam’s music taste. Classical music was a huge part of her life. Playing cello as well as listening to classical music and attending concerts were passions of hers. She played in two orchestras, and as a youth dreamed of traveling the world playing cello to raise money for charities. In contrast, Sam also thoroughly enjoyed blasting the Grateful Dead on her vintage record player, rocking to Reggae music in the park, belting out Disney tunes and D.J.ing her late-night Klezmer radio show in college.

☯ Sam had an overflowing passion for life and a soul full of joy. Whether dancing uninhibitedly around a room, being goofy with friends, or passionately screaming at political rallies, team meets or from the mountain tops, her exuberance was apparent. Playing pranks and making clever puns delighted her. Sadly, this lightness was matched in intensity by an inner darkness. She suffered from gender dysphoria— feeling deeply hopeless that she would ever be truly happy with her body. As she moved through her transition, she never felt comfortable with her physical self.

☯ Unfortunately, Yin-Yang energies do not always exist harmoniously together; at times one outweighs the other. Sam's natural instinct was to support others, but she was unable to ask for help for herself. She acknowledged every homeless person she passed on the street, stayed up all night listening to any friend in need and was renowned for her warm, embracing hugs. She wanted others to feel loved and less alone. Yet when it came to her own struggles, Sam was private, rarely letting others see the depth of her suffering.  Fiercely independent, she preferred to manage her pain on her own. Tragically, on Sam’s 21st birthday, her psychic pain was unbearable, and she took her own life. She was the true definition of Yin and Yang: sunlight playing over a mountain and a valley.

☯ As Sam progressed through her transition, she began exploring name changes. One that she was strongly considering was Devorah. Thus, the Sam & Devorah Foundation was born in memory of Sam and in honor of Devorah! In creating the Foundation, we have embraced Sam’s essence by building a national community of transgender and non-binary youth who can gather at nature retreats, in urban settings or virtually on-line to connect, thrive and feel empowered. She would have been deeply proud.

Tributes for Sam Price z’’ll

March 26, 2016

Beth Dorogusker (mother)

Many of you may be thinking right now, how can I have the strength and courage to stand here in front of you and eulogize my child, a mother’s worst nightmare. But actually, I have only 1/1000 of the courage that Sam had.  Real courage is coming out as transgender to your family, friends, and the world. Courage is being a 5’11” broad built man, putting on a bright blue sleeveless turquoise dress, jewelry, and carefully applied make-up, then walking down the block where you grew up to take the train into NYC to meet a friend. To be true to yourself, despite the judgments of society, that is true courage. Yet, when I said this to Sam she became fiercely angry and said vehemently: “This is not courage mom, I am just being.”

I thought about telling many stories regarding Sam’s beauty, selflessness, empathy, intelligence, and passion but I realized the futility of my words because my love for Sam is truly ineffable. And the beauty of Sam’s life cannot be captured verbally. The essence of Sam’s soul and spirit exists on another plane entirely for me.

Nevertheless, I will share a few recent anecdotes which reflect Sam’s character and leave others to speak more about Sam. And then I will ask each and every one of you to do two things.

Sam loved nature and liked to walk around barefoot, not just inside but everywhere. She loved the feel of the earth beneath her feet. At times she was asked to leave restaurants for being barefoot. Sam was passionate. When Sam returned home after her first year at Oberlin College where she had just taken an environmental class, she asked me with complete earnestness, if she could turn our front yard into a sustainable garden. I agreed to begin with a small portion and the very next day Sam and I went to Home Depot and to the garden store. She built a beautiful vegetable garden and it flourished with tomatoes, jalapenos, lettuce, and herbs that summer. She then went on to make salsas, and hot sauces and dehydrated herbs.

Sam was unmaterialistic. When family and friends asked Sam what she wanted for High School graduation presents, she requested from each person a book that was meaningful to them and in some way changed their lives. I gave Sam Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. For Chanukah and her birthday she insisted, and I mean insisted, on NO gifts just donations to several charities. She sent us her list of charities, which to name a few were: The Mazzoni House, a place for Transgender Homeless people, Black Lives Matter, The Trevor Project—A suicide prevention service for trans people, and an organization to aid Syrian Refugees. Sam championed the underprivileged, the underserved and despised inequity. Last winter after volunteering in Guatemala during her winter term, she informed us we could only buy Fair Trade Coffee, bananas, and chocolate. I agreed, but slipped up once, buying just the organic ones. The following day when I passed the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, there were the bananas with big, bold, black letters written with a sharpie pen: “SLAVE BANANNAS.”

This past winter break, I offered to buy Sam a new winter coat that was more feminine. Naturally, Sam resisted. But I nagged and persisted, and finally Sam relented. She refused to go to the mall, a place she detested, so we went into NYC. Let me tell you what it was like to walk down the street with Sam. As we headed to the stores, Sam stopped to take money from her wallet to give to a homeless person. Then we moved on and she stopped again. I started to grow impatient but Sam was undeterred. By the time we reached our destination she had given every homeless person we passed along the way money. Sam was always teaching me and reminding me what was truly important in live.

Now, before I make my requests of each of you, I want to say a few words about Jonah, Sam’s older brother. Jonah was a wonderful and loving brother. Not to say there weren’t many fights, angry moments, and at times distance between them.  But they had a strong beautiful brotherly love growing up. And in the past year were coming together again, sharing interests in so many things. And when Sam came out as Transgender, nobody was more loving and accepting than Jonah. While the rest of us struggled to get the pronouns correct, Jonah didn’t miss a single beat, and got it right every time, right up to Sam’s dying day. Thank you Jonah for being a sensitive and loving big brother.

There is a great temptation to go on and tell you the hundreds of ways Sam was a mensch, but instead let me end with my two requests. To honor Sam’s memory and keep her spirit alive, I ask each of you to do two things:

First: Be less judgmental. It is human nature to judge, we all do it, all the time. I, in fact, am guilty of doing it way too much. But please, next time you are judging another person, pause for a moment and ask yourself why. Whether it be because they are gay, transgender, obese, of a different race or have a job you deem beneath you, or are suffering from a mental illness...please choose compassion over judgment. Sam always did. And people who are trans, like Sam was, genuinely need to feel acceptance and love. If you want a real life example of acceptance, just look at Sam’s 86 year old grandfather, my Dad.   At Sam’s Oma’s (grandmother’s) 85th birthday party last spring at an upscale restaurant in NYC, Same came dressed in a skirt and blouse adorned with jewelry and make-up. My Dad went directly over to Sam, gave her a big hug and said “You look beautiful.”  That, my friends, is genuine acceptance without judgment.

My second request: Sam thrived on doing random acts of kindness. She spurned and detested accolades or recognition and actually preferred to go unnoticed. She gave because it made her feel good and she loved to give to others. So whenever you are able, whether it be daily, weekly, or monthly, please perform a random act of kindness and think of Sam.

Sadly, tragically, Sam could give and be kind to others but not to herself. In her later years, she led a private life of desperation and agony. And I pray, with all my heart that she is no longer suffering and is at peace.

And please know, while Sam’s spirit will always reside within me, I will miss my daughter, every day and every moment for the rest of my life.

Adam Price (father)

Pete Seeger told this anecdote about a young Viet Nam war protester  and a business man. The conservatively clad man, asked  “do you really think you can change the world,” to which the long-haired  protester responded “No, but I can keep it from changing me.”

Sam was not just an idealistic college student who believed in social justice.  Her desire for tikkun olam, to repair the world, was very personal, fervent, and at times even desperate. She just could not give enough of herself, but tragically, would not let anyone help her.  I know how much her friends here and at Oberlin tried. Oberlin provided Sam with such an accepting and safe community that allowed her to explore so much of who she was.

Tragically, and unlike that protester, Sam could not protect herself from the world’s pain. Her sensitivity, her internal struggle, the intensity of her feelings was more than she could bare. As one friend wrote “I’m sorry this earth was not ready to receive your light.” 

I am hear to tell you this morning that the rate of suicide attempts amongst transgender and gender non-conforming people it is 41%. I mistakenly thought that because Sam’s family accepted her unconditionally, we would be spared this fate. In June, for example, just three months after Sam came out to us, she attended my mother-in-law’s 85th birthday party dressed as a woman.  Her grandfather Ben immediately approached Sam, hugged her, and said “I love you no matter what.”  And then there was the night that Sam’s high school friends gathered at our house, (these friends who, by the way seemed to live at our house) and Sam welcomed them in a dress. I was anxious to see their reactions, particularly the boys Jon, Cameron and Ben. I can tell you they did not miss a beat, and acted as if nothing had changed. This acceptance became even more meaningful when Sam later told me she had not even told them she was transgender. Dear, dear friends of Sam--- please know that just as before our door will always be unlocked for you, and our ping pong table available for another tournament, or whatever other games you  might have played on it.

Tragically, though we were not on the good side of that statistic. And Sam’s death can not be reduced simply to her struggle with gender.

However, as we sat vigil beside Sam’s hospital bed in Cleveland, surrounded by family, friends, and an amazing staff of nurses and doctors, and as I recited the prayer for healing, the misaberach, over and over, one sentence stuck.

Mi shebeirach avoteinu
M'kor hab'racha l'imoteinu
May the source of strength,
Who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing,

 Sam was one of those rare people who had the courage to make her life a blessing. She did so in ways too countless to recall here. Beth told you about one way- she always gave money to the homeless. I, myself, only recently took up this practice, always believing that it was better to give to charity. However, a friend’s comment changed my mind. She knows her change may not help, and will probably be spent on booze or drugs. However, in giving, a barrier is removed, and she can see this person like any other person, as someone in need of caring and respect. Sam instinctively knew this, Sam could not tolerate any barriers between her humanity and another beings.

And so I ask this of you-just once, and in your own small way please challenge yourself to let down a barrier you hold-  there are so many “us” and “thems”. It may be as simple as giving a homeless person a dollar. And when you do so, let it change you, just a little bit. Do it for Sam. This world desperately needs tolerance, and not just of the LGBTQ community.  You know letters keeping being added to that acronym, I just heard LGBTQA. Sam would probably have wanted us to just use A-Z for all of humanity: I for  immigrants, M for Muslims, and R for refugees, P for Palestinian, J for Jew.

Towards this goal, we have established the Sam and Devorah Foundation for Transgender People. It is my wife’s brainchild, and our dream, to create a home for transgender youth, a place where they can feel safe, and receive love & support. Thanks to some angels, Nina Greenberg, Eric Price, Lisa Pechter, and Sasha Ramone we received a 501c status on Friday, the day after Sam died, and already have a website up and running to receive donations: samanddevorah.org. Info is in the lobby.

And finally, to my beloved wife and son Jonah I have a few words. Beth, I know that you, like Sam do not like to be in the limelight. And like me, you do not want to be told right now that we were wonderful parents. I just want to thank you for giving me the thing I wanted most in this world, two children, and for loving them as much as you did, and as much as you will continue to do. And to Jonah, you above anyone else accepted Sam. As we told you, Mom fought with Nina and I with Eric growing up, but they are now are  amongst the people will hold most dear. I saw that shift begin with you and Sam as you became young adults,  know it would have flourished, and am so sorry that you are robbed of it.

Jonah Price (Brother)

When my parents brought a newborn Sam back from the hospital, the first thing I said was “can we take her back.”  To this day that has been one of the dumbest things I have ever said, because my sister Sam was one of the most incredible people I have ever known.

When I first started thinking of what I was going to say for this, I was worried that I would be rehashing the sentiments of each person before me. But then I realized that every single person here could get up and say a different reason why Sam was such an amazing person. Sam was always there for anyone and everyone who needed her. She was compassionate and empathetic while strong and passionate at the same time. Sam would move from the second floor into the basement to practice the cello, so I could focus on “doing my homework” *use air quotes* without any protest or hesitation. She was an activist who was truly motivated solely by the principals of social justice and equality

I know it’s cliché to say, but I have too many good memories of Sam to share today. So I will share just one. Two years ago our family did a backpacking trek across the Inca trail to Machu Pichu. The first night it rained, not a drizzle, not a downpour, but some hurricane level rains. The next morning everything was drenched, our clothes, our tent, our backpacks, and our spirits. We were only a four hour hike from the entrance and had another 3 days of hiking to get to Machu Pichu. Plus the upcoming day of hiking was to begin by climbing up a mountain where temperatures were 15-25 degrees. The entire family wanted to go back and take the train to macchu picchu, except for Sam.  Sam hadn’t even considered the idea of turning back, the only way out was through for her. She singlehandedly convicted a us to climb the freezing mountain in wet clothes. There’s no way any of us would have made it up the mountain without Sam’s motivations and encouragement And I kid you not, as soon as we reached the peak the weather cleared up and the trek down the other side of the mountain was one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve ever been on. I chose this story because I think it embodies who Sam was, and how I will remember her, as someone who pushed people to do great things, yet was supportive and kind along the way.

What truly makes me the saddest about this horrible, horrible tragedy is that the one person Sam couldn’t help was herself. She spent so much time helping other who needed her. But it wasn’t that Sam couldn’t deal with this world, it’s that this world couldn’t deal with Sam. Our society made her feel ugly and unwanted; when in reality she was a beautiful soul who was so important to so many people. Sadly, there is no path back, we can only move forward, and we must because the last thing Sam would have wanted was for any of us to suffer. Sam I will always love you and there will not be a single minute that goes by where I am not thinking about you.

Nina Greenberg (Aunt)

Samuel Harel Price, I wish more than anything that you could see the hundreds of people who are here this morning to honor you.  They are here because you, my dear niece, were a loving, generous, sensitive and kind soul who touched more lives than you will ever know.  You exemplified what is good in this world and you cared so passionately and deeply.  As I started to compose my thoughts, it was this incredible family that came to mind, it was Beth, Adam, Jonah, Lauren, Nicky, Eric, Carl and my parents.  Why? Because not too long ago, when Sam let us know he was transgender, my dearest friend said to me “Sam was born into the right family”.  Our family embraced Sam and loved her and supported her and made sure she knew that we accepted and cherished her. She had an aunt with great fashion sense who would surely show her what to wear and cousins who would happily shop with her. 

I have always looked forward to the Jewish Holidays, because I didn’t have to cook and I got to be with my family.  Sam, in her kind and caring way, would ask about what was going on in my life and always gave the best hugs.  They were meaningful hugs and they were followed by a meaningful conversation where she would ask how I was doing and what I was doing.  I would always need to steer the conversation back to her because she preferred to talk about others and not herself. 

This summer, Sam reached out to me as she was interested in event planning.  She came to the city for a couple of weeks and we worked together.  It is time that I will cherish forever.  I think she got a glimpse of what I did and I hope in some small way I enriched her understanding.  She texted me not long after to tell me that she was planning an event and using the timeline format I had shown her.  I was one proud aunt. 

As some of you may know, Lauren, Nicky and I had a very unpleasant cat named Dempsey.  Dempsey liked to bite and we walked around our own home in fear of him.  But when Sam would come over she would bravely walk up to Dempsey and just start petting him.  When Dempsey passed away this past January, I got a text from Sam which said the following:

Losing a pet is really tough.  They become so ingrained in our lives and act as a source of love and comfort.  When they leave us it is eerie and empty.  Grieving takes time but you will always carry a part of Dempsey with you.  Stay strong and do some self-healing. 

 Sam, we will grieve for the rest of our lives, you left us too soon and your sympathetic soul will live on forever. 

Sam barely lived a life of 21 years but has left an enormous imprint on her family, friends and community; one that is greater than most people could boast if they lived to 121 years.

I believe Sam's difficult journey will serve to make our world a bit kinder, to lead other trans-youth through a gentler journey and to help to teach those in the greater community about this sensitive and most difficult issue. Sam's way too brief life was a gift. This enormous tragedy, of which her family will forever feel the weight, has already ignited a mission to provide a safe place for other trans youth. In fact, Beth and Adam, despite the enormity of their grief, have established a 501c(3) tax-exempt organization named the Sam & Devorah Foundation for Trans Youth. The mission of this foundation will be to set up a safe house for transgender youth and to promote counseling and well-being for transgender people. Sam's imprint grows more impressive as we gather, speak aloud, think and act together on her brave behalf.

Sam—I miss you. I love you…always.

Lauren Greenberg (Cousin)

Hi, for those of you that don’t know me I’m Lauren, Sam’s first cousin. I’ve never spoken at a funeral before so this is going to be a little scary and hard, but thanks for bearing with me. When Beth asked me if I wanted to speak, “no pressure” she said, and through no fault of her own of course that’s all I felt, pressure. How do you speak about such a tremendous human being like Sam and fit it into a matter of minutes, you can’t, but I’ll try and do my best. Of course I wanted to speak, but the thought of actually doing it terrified me. But here I am because I know if I didn’t share some of Sam with all of you I would regret it.

Ever since Sam was little she was always so affectionate, always giving you the best hugs, I swear, 100% of her was made up of pure love, there wasn’t a bad bone in her body. She was the most selfless person I knew, she cared so deeply for others, especially for those less fortunate. Every Hannukah, (and my mom can attest to this), we pestered Sam, asking her, Sam what do you want, what can we get you, we need to get you a gift. Sam never ever wanted gifts, always a donation to a charity, something to help others. Jonah on the other hand, if you just buy out half of the J. Crew men’s section he’ll be satisfied. 

One of the biggest things that will stick with me for the rest of my life is Sam’s laugh. I’m sure many of you have heard it and know exactly what I’m talking about, it was the best laugh. Such an infectious one, one you couldn’t help but smiling whenever you heard it. But Sam also had a serious sensitive side to her, she was a beautiful cellist and an avid Harry Potter fan. It’s these things and countless others by how I’ll remember Sam and why a piece of me will always be missing.

She was so brave, we truly had no idea how impossibly hard it was for Sam, despite this incomprehensible outcome, she showed such strength and bravery in being who she always knew she was.

To Jonah- I hope you know this already but I’m not going anywhere, I know you’re going to be on the other side of the country for a few more years but doesn’t mean I’m not going to double text you and triple snapchat you all the time, it’s going to happen whether you like it or not. To my aunt- we are so close already but I know this is going to form an unbreakable bond between us making us only closer. To both my aunt and uncle- just know I’m here, I’m with you every step of the way, forever. I love you all so much.  

Thank you all so much for coming, you have no idea how much all the support means to us. There’s no one and nothing that can replace Sammy but to honor Sam, it’s important we not only have to be true to ourselves, and be brave and strong, and have courage, but also be accepting of all people, and be kind, just as Sam always was, because you never know what someone is facing in their life or what they are going through.

Eric Price (Uncle)

Last week, while sitting with Sam in her Cleveland Metrohealth ICU room, my thoughts drifted in and out of memories of her as a young child. To celebrate my father’s seventieth birthday we all went up to Carl and my house in Provincetown, Massachusetts. I remember Sam, who was nine, and our neighbor’s daughter, Annie Goodridge, who was eight, were playing our backyard. Soaring around each other, back and forth, towards us and away from us. Little did we know then that they would become friends at Oberlin College many years later. That image reminded me of the poem I wrote for Sam to honor her bar mitzvah. I’d like to read the first part:

At birth you gasped for air.
Too difficult, breathing,
that effortless act that we all share,
Yet with the love from your family,
you found the strength to persevere,
And eased our fears.
Now you were not afraid, you were fearless, and we have been blessed
you found a courage and a smile that could not be suppressed
You became the boy that could fly through the sky
A spirit that filled us with joy and soared towards the high|
You became the boy that could fly through the sky

Our Sam was a beautiful child with a boundless smile and an infinite amount of joy. She was fearless and feisty who used her energy to help others less fortunate.

She was a fighter who wanted to make the world a more caring place.

But we know that growing up is difficult and coming to terms with one’s identity—even in the most supportive and caring environment—is harder.

On the cusp adulthood of her inner demons were too great.

She could fly no more.

Sam you touched so many people and your spirit is still soaring. You are still the four year old who would go up to anyone—complete strangers—and start a conversation.

You are still the eleven year old who cheered your friends scoring a goal.

You are still the twenty-year-old sitting with Larry Kramer discussing the LGBT movement.

You are the boy, the not-so-sure, the girl, the woman who wants to help others.

You’ll always be soaring in my dreams.

We love you Sam.

Claire Dorogusker (Grandmother)

Last May when we found out that Sam was Transgender and we did  not know how to reach out to her I wrote her a letter. Thankfully, it was well received. Today I would like to share it with you.

My Dearest Sam,

This is a love letter. The change of your identity was at first surprising. But Papa and I want you to know you are today as you were yesterday, our precious, delightful, bright, beautiful grandchild who is an integral part of our lives. May you continue sharing books, music and all things Jewish with us and never stop hugging and loving us as we do you.

As Ever,
Oma and Papa

 Ben and I were blessed for 21 years with the gift of Sam. What I will miss most are her hugs. Smiling-with arms extended, she literally cradled me gently and always, always whispered “I love you Oma.” Now my dreams of her must suffice.